Cameron Von St. James, a blogger for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance, contacted me about the possibility of writing a guest blog about how he and his family handled the news of his wife being diagnosed with malignant mesothelioma right before the holidays. I really was delighted that he contacted me, because his subject matter was something that I could relate to. My mother received her first chemotherapy treatment during the holiday season and it was really painful to watch someone I loved struggle and not feel well during such a joyous and celebratory time of the year. I’m sure there are many people who have been in similar situations as Cameron and I and I hope that his story can help others cope.
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COPING WITH CANCER DURING THE HOLIDAYS
By Cameron Von St. James
I love the holidays. It really is the time when I connect with the people who are most important to me to celebrate and carry on our most loved traditions. In 2005, my wife and I celebrated the birth of our daughter in August, and we were thrilled about her first Christmas and Thanksgiving that year. There was so much we wanted to share with our daughter. However, three days before Thanksgiving, Heather was given terrible news.
Lily, our baby, was less than four months old when Heather received her diagnosis of malignant mesothelioma. Suddenly we had to start thinking about how she could fight and what we could do for her. I was angry and afraid, and I that year I felt that I had little to be thankful for during the holidays that followed.
Despite all of our fears, we did manage to have a Thanksgiving and a Christmas. Heather’s family came in to celebrate the holidays with us, and we shared our Thanksgiving dinner as usual. After the meal, we had the conversation that I had been dreading. We had to discuss with Heather’s family everything that we would need help with throughout this difficult time.
We talked about everything from the money we had in the bank to the childcare that our new daughter would need. We discussed income, assets, debts and the expenses we could expect to be coming our way in the months that followed. Heather’s family 
offered to help us pay for whatever they could afford, and we talked about what we could liquidate for cash to help us through. I was embarrassed and ashamed, and felt like I had failed as a husband and caregiver. Again, I found myself thinking that I had absolutely nothing to be thankful for that year.
It took me years before I could really appreciate the true meaning of that day, and look back to see how very blessed I actually was in that moment. Our family was with us every step of the way. They dropped everything to be by our sides, and made huge sacrifices to help us through. My pride stopped me from seeing it, but looking back now, years later, I can see how truly lucky I was to have them.
This holiday season, I am making a resolution to keep that good will and that generosity primary in my mind. I have a healthy little girl, and my wife by my side, and we all have an opportunity to make more memories together. Against all odds, and with the help of our loving and supportive family, Heather beat her mesothelioma and we’ve been able to celebrate seven Christmas’s and counting as a family of three. We hope that our story can be a source of hope and inspiration to all those currently fighting cancer this holiday season.
